Having spent the latter two weeks of November in England – where the frigid arctic wind seeped into my bones while I scraped a stubborn layer of frost off the car windscreen – the autumnal weather that we’ve experienced in Shanghai today has been lovely.
Wandering down Yongkang Lu on my way to lunch, a clement breeze whipped golden-brown leaves from swaying tree branches and cradled them to the ground where they crunched underfoot. On the pavement a huddle of men thirty-or-so strong craned their necks jostled position to watch a mahjong game unfold on a beat-up plywood table. Fleecy bed-covers flapped and floated alongside well-worn bras and knickers on roadside washing lines, and everyone had opted for two-wheels rather than four.
My last visit to England was in May earlier this year; a fleeting catch-up with family and friends. This time my primary purpose was for work and it was the first time I’d set foot in the UK office for 18 months. It was lovely to meet with colleagues face-to-face after so long; everyone was keen to know whether I was still happy living in China, and also whether I was looking forward to moving back to the UK (my repatriation is on the horizon now, as I’ll complete my 3-year assignment in April next year). Honestly, I found it hard to give a neat answer. Shanghai isn’t a new adventure anymore, or a work assignment – it’s my home.
I love the rich juxtaposition of familiarity and foreignness, whereby I have a favorite coffee shop and preferred dumpling vendor (yes, really), but stare wide-eyed (in amusement, or curiosity, or horror) at various culture-specific and previously unseen scenarios on most days.
I love that everything around me is worthy of a photograph. Case in point: a few hours ago, while cutting through an alleyway off Nanchang Lu close to my apartment, I glanced past the coffee shop on the corner, noted the new nail place (“trouble girl”), and settled my gaze on the festive display outside Kym’s Flower shop – bright red poinsettia and colour-matched Christmas baubles. So far so normal, but look a little to the left, and you will find five fish fillets strung to a wooden pole, gutted, cleaned and drying with the aid of a rusty old fan propped up on a battered plastic cool-box. Every Shanghai street coaxes you to look closer, to be present, and pay attention (especially because these little glimpses of old-school China are becoming rarer, as the lane-house-lined streets are swept away to make room for the new and modern and shiny).
I also love my friends in Shanghai – albeit the merry-go-round of expat assignments means that they won’t be here forever either; I was gutted when one friend moved back to Australia in September.
So am I looking forward to moving home? Well, not in the sense that the UK doesn’t really feel like home at this moment. The prospect of moving into a rental apartment in Warwickshire, learning to fit back into a routine that is now unfamiliar, and turning on the radio to relentless updates on Brexit doesn’t exactly fill me with joy. But still, there is a lot that I am looking forward to; the prospect of a new challenge at work… accepting birthday and wedding and Sunday dinner invitations… being in close proximity to Marks & Spencers food hall… fresh air on a crisp winters morning (yes, even if it does mean scraping ice off the car windscreen!), because let’s be honest, my autumn-in-December experience today was a bit of an anomaly; let’s take last Thursday as a comparative:
So in sum, I spent most of my week in the office explaining my feelings as “pretty mixed”. When Matt and I did our expat immersion training shortly before moving to China, we were advised that the culture shock experienced by people on return to their home country can far exceed that of the initial relocation, as you grow and develop over the three years in a completely different context and culture to friends, family and colleagues back home. I intend to write more about this as I prepare to go back.
It goes without saying, but I’ve been a bit crap at blogging of late. I have at least 8 half-written drafts which nag at me when I find myself binge-watching Mad Men after a long day/week at work. With only a few months left in China in which to tackle a bucket-list as long as the Huangpu River, my job, a plethora of seasonal social commitments (Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year) and a predilection for at least 8 hours sleep, it may be a stretch that I’ll finish all 8, but I’ll try for at least a couple more!